By: Mbalenhle Zondi
I recently attended a relative’s traditional wedding and there was just something about the wedding that brought joy to my heart. From the lobola negotiations, to the exchanging of gifts, the ululating and the singing; this wedding (like every other traditional African wedding) truly symbolised the coming together of two families and two cultures.
With the groom being Zulu and the bride coming from a Tswana background, the wedding was a hive of activity, the bride looked radiant in her ‘isishweshwe’ (traditional Tswana dress) when she arrived with her family at the groom’s home to be officially welcomed in her new family. Later in the day, after gifts had been exchanged between the two families, the makoti was whisked away by women from the groom’s family and she later emerged wearing traditional Zulu attire; This symbolised that they are officially husband and wife. All that was left for them to do was to sign some documents to make the marriage legal (which they could’ve done at their traditional wedding).The couple is now planning their white wedding...
The Decor...
Now this really got me thinking...Is there really a need for them to have a white wedding? What is the significance of the white wedding? Why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Could it be that we have become so westernised in our way of thinking that we think that our traditional practices aren’t as important or good enough as western practices? The singing, dancing and jubilation that comes with a traditional wedding is just out of this world. If you think about it, having both a traditional and a white wedding (Amalobolo, umembeso, umabo and the white wedding) is very costly and this is one of the reasons our African brothers and sisters are in debt, because many couples tend to forget that after a WEDDING there is a MARRIAGE to maintain. Ka Sesotho bare: “dikuku dimonate, lenyalo le boima”.
The wedding symbolised two cultures (Zulu and Tswana) coming together... alilililili!!
One will never find a white/Caucasian couple having a white wedding and then the next day dressing up in traditional Zulu outfits (for example) and dancing, ululating and exchanging gifts, so why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Look, I am in no way saying that white weddings are wrong and if a couple can afford to have three weddings then by all means they should go ahead and do it. I myself also dream of having a big white wedding (including a traditional one) some day, but to this day I still struggle to understand what the significance of a white wedding is to us black people. We've even adopted all the customs that come with a white wedding (e.g. the tossing of the bouquet and the garter, amongs other things), why is that?
In some cases, when push comes to shove (moneywise) couples prefer to sacrifice a traditional wedding in favour of a white wedding. It just seems like we have hijacked other people's cultures because we dont think that our traditional customs are glamorous or good enough. Some may argue that white weddings are more religious, whereas traditional weddings are not, but then by saying this are we not implying that only western culture is religious and that African customs are backward and 'unchristian'? I think that it is all about finding a balance between our cultures and religion, and yes, this is possible. I agree that culture changes over time and that we should adapt to the changing times, however it should not get to a point where we abandon all our traditional customs in favour of western ones. It is imperative that we preserve our cultures and customs so that we can pass them on to future generations.
What is your opinion on this issue? leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on Twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee
