Will South Africa Ever Truly Heal from the Wounds of The Past?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

I just came across an article in this week’s Drum magazine about a brutal assault on an elderly golf instructor. The instructor, Nathan Maluleke, suffered severe injuries which resulted in him having to have metal plates inserted into his cheeks and he also lost two of his teeth in the attack. His crime, you ask? BEING BLACK; Maluleke was savagely attacked by a white family at a golf club in Johannesburg as he tried to intervene to stop a white woman from chanting racial slurs at black employees.

Every time I read or hear about racist incidents’ such as this one I am filled with so much disgust and sadness; I mean this is really unnecessary! I wonder if South Africa will ever truly heal from the wounds of the past. Incidents’ such as this one are a wakeup call to all of us because they are a sad reminder that racism still exists in our beautiful country. What saddens me even more is that some ‘bornfree’s’ (people born post apartheid) have also developed racist views. Where is all this anger and hatred coming from?!

Does such hate and anger really help us in any way? I mean if we all looked the same the world would be quite a dull place, don’t you think? We should take pride in the fact that we are a ‘rainbow nation’, a rainbow is an arch of different colours and it is just beautiful to look at! By hating someone because of the colour of their skin we are saying that we are ashamed of our beautiful rainbow nation and would rather have one that is dull and boring.

                                                                      Nathan Maluleke after his brutal attack.

I think of South Africa as being quite a religious country as well; although we have a variety of religious beliefs in our country (another thing that makes us a rainbow nation) ,the one thing most of us have in common is that we believe in a higher power. I don’t think that there is any religion (Well at least I hope there isn’t) that condones prejudice and hatred.

Since I am Christian, I will talk from a Christian perspective: We are all created in the beautiful image of God and God is a God of DIVERSITY that  is why we come in an amazing variety of colours, shapes and sizes; God does NOT make mistakes! In his book The Purpose Driven life, Rick Warren says: “God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the colour of your skin, your hair and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents that you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality. Your race and nationality are no accident!”

 Mind you, racism is not a ‘white thing’ as some people tend to think. ANYONE can be racist, Black people can be racist, White people can be racist, Indians can be racist. Your race does not determine whether you will be racist or not, it is the anger and hatred that one develops in their heart and mind that makes them a racist, nothing else! Let us all love our neighbours as we love ourselves and unite as a nation to fight racism, because it is through being united that we will ensure that our country prospers.

Who Has it Worse?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

As I grow older I have realised that shopping for ‘perfect-fitting’ clothes is getting trickier by the day. Last month I went Christmas shopping and I came across the most gorgeous dress ever (well at least to me it was) and I just had to have it. So I decided to try the dress on to see if it suits me and to find a size that fits me perfectly.

 Now I’ve got quite a unique frame: athletic, with a big bust and my shoulders are slightly wider than my hips. I guess if I had to be classified under a body shape I would be an ‘inverted triangle’, though I’m not really a ’10 over 1’ as some people put it *LOL*.  Anyway, I tried on the dress and it fit me so well and hugged my body in all the right places, but my breasts were so squashed and could barely even breathe...NOT a pretty sight at all! So I had to try on a bigger size, and it fit me well around the bust, but on the rest of my body it was just ‘hanging’ like some borrowed cloth. Basically, I wasn’t wearing the dress, the dress was wearing me! A sudden rush of sadness came over me and I left the store empty handed.

                                                                female body shapes..

                                                                                        
A couple of days later I was chilling with a  friend of mine and I told her about my shopping experience and moaned  about how difficult it is for big-breasted women (particularly young women) to find clothes that fit well. Her response was rather unexpected; she argued that big-busted women have it easier than Bootylicious (curvy at the rear end) women because big-busted women can always find “nice flowy tops” to compliment their frame, whereas it’s more difficult for bootylicious women to find jeans/pants that fit right.  My friend has a typical African shape: curvy at the bottom and small at the top. She basically has what we South Africans call an ‘ATM’ (African Trade Mark)...ke le Pakistan bosso!  

                                                                         Bootylicious.. (picture taken from the internet)

                                                 

She said that shopping for jeans has become a nightmare for her, because when she finds jeans that fit her well, she can barely get them over her buttocks. When she gets a bigger size, it fits her well around the buttocks, but they are baggy at the bottom and big at the waist.  We debated this for over 30 minutes, with me adding that big-busted women also have difficulty finding a good quality bra that fits perfectly. It’s especially difficult for younger (big-busted) women to find a bra because most bras’ that cater for big-breasted women are not really appealing to the eye. I mean can you imagine a 20-something year old wearing ‘granny bra’s’? Really now!

This debate left me wondering who really has it worse when it comes to finding clothes that fit perfectly, women with big breasts or bootylicious women, or ke samsokolo vele?

What is your opinion on this topic? Do you ever experience difficulties when shopping for clothes? Leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on Twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee

Patriotism is NOT a Choice, Its a Duty!

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

The Orange Africa Cup of Nations is upon us and it’s always amazing to see how sports unite South Africans. It is during events like these that South Africans put their differences aside and rally towards a common goal.

I must say I was quite disappointed that Bafana Bafana drew in their opening game against the Cape Verde Islands on Saturday. They didn’t play as a unit at all and going forward they were just hopeless. Could they have developed a sudden case of stage fright, or were there certain individuals who saw this as an opportunity to try and outshine their fellow teammates? Some may put the blame on Coach Gordan Igesund for his selection of players; others may argue that South Africa has seen a rapid decline of quality players over the years and that Igesund wasn’t really spoilt for choice.  Whatever the reason for their disappointing performance is, they seriously need to sort it out and fast!

101% behind bafana bafana!

Despite all this, we should all rally behind our boys and give them our full unconditional support, kumnyama kubomvu! After all we are the 12^th man and by supporting them we boost their morale, making fun of the team or calling them names really doesn’t help us in anyway, all it does is to demoralise the players and this affects their performance on the field even more. One thing, that we should all remember is that patriotism is NOT a choice, it’s a duty!

  It was a blessing in disguise that both Group A’s opening games ended in draws. Hopefully Bafana will take advantage of this and win their remaining two games so that they can advance to the knockout stages of the tournament and hopefully even emulate the class of 96. So let’s all be patriotic and put our full support behind the boys! #bafana kaofela#

Are We Losing Our 'Africanness'?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

 I recently attended a relative’s traditional wedding and there was just something about the wedding that brought joy to my heart. From the lobola negotiations, to the exchanging of gifts, the ululating and the singing; this wedding (like every other traditional African wedding) truly symbolised the coming together of two families and two cultures.

With the groom being Zulu and the bride coming from a Tswana background, the wedding was a hive of activity, the bride looked radiant in her ‘isishweshwe’ (traditional Tswana dress) when she arrived with her family at the groom’s home to be officially welcomed in her new family.  Later in the day, after gifts had been exchanged between the two families, the makoti was whisked away by women from the groom’s family and she later emerged wearing traditional Zulu attire; This symbolised that they are officially husband and wife. All that was left for them to do was to sign some documents to make the marriage legal (which they could’ve done at their traditional wedding).The couple is now planning their white wedding...

The Decor...

Now this really got me thinking...Is there really a need for them to have a white wedding? What is the significance of the white wedding?  Why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Could it be that we have become so westernised in our way of thinking that we think that our traditional practices aren’t as important or good enough as western practices? The singing, dancing and jubilation that comes with a traditional wedding is just out of this world. If you think about it, having both a traditional and a white wedding (Amalobolo, umembeso, umabo and the white wedding) is very costly and this is one of the reasons our African brothers and sisters are in debt, because many couples tend to forget that after a WEDDING there is a MARRIAGE to maintain. Ka Sesotho bare: “dikuku dimonate, lenyalo le boima”.

The wedding symbolised two cultures (Zulu and Tswana) coming together... alilililili!!

One will never find a white/Caucasian couple having a white wedding and then the next day dressing up in traditional Zulu outfits (for example) and dancing, ululating and exchanging gifts, so why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Look, I am in no way saying that white weddings are wrong and if a couple can afford to have three weddings then by all means they should go ahead and do it. I myself also dream of having a big white wedding (including a traditional one) some day, but to this day I still struggle to understand what the significance of a white wedding is to us black people. We've even  adopted all the customs that come with a white wedding (e.g. the tossing of the bouquet and the garter, amongs other things), why is that?

 In some cases, when push comes to shove (moneywise) couples prefer to sacrifice a traditional wedding in favour of a white wedding. It just seems like we have hijacked other people's cultures because we dont think that our traditional customs are glamorous or good enough. Some may argue that white weddings are more religious, whereas traditional weddings are not, but  then by saying this are we not implying that only western culture is religious and that African customs are backward and 'unchristian'? I think that it is all about finding a balance between our cultures and religion, and yes, this is possible.  I agree that culture changes over time and that  we should adapt to the changing times, however it should not get to a  point where we abandon all our traditional customs in favour of western ones. It is imperative that we preserve our cultures and customs so that we can pass them on to future generations.

What is your opinion on this issue? leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on Twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee