Is This Really Polygamy?

A couple of weeks ago I watched in shock and with great amusement as self-made businessman and tycoon, Kenny Kunene, paraded his army of girlfriends on a local talk show. The ‘Sushi King’, as he is known, declared that he prefers to date more than one women at a time and that these women should strictly be between the ages of 18-24.

Now, I don’t know what shocked me more, the fact that these words were being uttered by a middle-aged man or that they were uttered by someone whose daughter is the same age as his army of girlfriends. There is a lot that can be said about Kunene’s lifestyle; from him being a bad role model (not only to his children but to other young people who look up to him) to the many health risks that his lifestyle choice could lead to. As a young woman, Kunene’s lifestyle disturbs me and I am strongly against it, however I do acknowledge that he (like myself) has a right to live his life the way he sees fit, after all, we live in a country that preaches freedom of choice and freedom of expression right?

Polygamy or promiscuity? Kenny Kunene and some of the young ladies that make up his army of girlfriends



However, it saddened me to hear him proudly declare (on his reality show a few years back) that he sees himself as being a polygamist. Judging by his lifestyle, I’m guessing this is what he meant by that statement #SMH#. Why do people use culture as an excuse to justify wrong-doing?? It is because of people like him that many people look down on our African practices and see them as being backward, barbaric practices. Kunene has no clue what polygamy is and how it is practiced in the African context. I have noticed that many people tend to confuse promiscuity with polygamy; in my opinion there is a BIG difference between the two. The Oxford Dictionary’s definition of promiscuity is: ‘having many sexual partners’, whereas polygamy is defined as ‘the custom of having more than one wife at a time’. Now, based on these definitions, I think it’s safe to say that Kunene is a ‘promiscuist’ (if such a word even exists LOL) rather than a polygamist. He is NOT married to any of these women, nor does he have any intention of marrying them and what is more disturbing is that these women are not even allowed to have other boyfriends, but that’s a discussion for another day.

If the ‘Sushi King’ has aspirations of becoming Africa’s Hugh Hefner then by all means he should go ahead and live his ife the way he sees fit, but he shouldnt use culture to justify his promiscuous lifestyle! Thank you, bye!

Can Culture and Religion Co-exist?

Today I decided to touch on a rather controversial topic; it’s something that I’ve always found fascinating, but never had a chance to discuss it with other people and get their views on this topic, perhaps it’s because I’ve been too scared to touch on this topic because of its sensitive nature. Anyway here goes nothing *takes a deep breath*..... Is it possible for our religious beliefs and our cultures to co-exist?

                                                           

Conflict: religion vs. culture

 (pictures sourced from google)

                                                  

More often than not, I find that there always tends to be conflict between cultural practices and religious beliefs, but what is the reason for this conflict? Is it really necessary for the two to clash?  I come from a rural area and my family is extremely religious, but on the other hand they are also a staunched traditional Zulu family, who still practice traditional customs and there has never really been an incident where our religion clashes with our culture, because we know that above all else, we are first and foremost a Christian family, hence everything that we do is guided by God and prayer. 

As much as religion is important, we shouldn’t completely reject or look down on our culture and cultural customs because whether we like it or not, culture is an inherent part of our identity, it is one of the things that define who were are and where we come from. I firmly believe that as long as the things that we do are guided by prayer and done with pure intentions, then there is no need for our cultures to clash or be in conflict with our religious beliefs. At the end of the day both religion and culture are important aspects of our lives and it all boils down to finding a healthy balance between the two.

What is your opinion regarding this topic? Do you think that it is possible for our religious beliefs and our cultures to co-exist?

Leave me a comment on this blog post or hit me up on twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee

Just some humour from aunty acid to make you smile...

 

 

 

AFCON Round Up

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

It was a sad day for most South Africans last Saturday as Bafana Bafana lost to Mali and subsequently crashed out of the Orange Africa Cup of Nations. This killed any hopes the nation had of Bafana advancing further in the tournament and hopefully even emulating the class of 96.

I was disappointed that Bafana lost especially after taking the lead early on and dominating most of the first half. In the second half they became relaxed and gave Mali too much space and as a result they were severely punished; the cracks in our defence were exposed (with Siboniso Gaxa and Bongani Khumalo being the main culprits), if it wasn’t for goalkeeper, Itumeleng Kune’s,  brilliant saves the nation would’ve been embarrassed. I particularly like the partnership between Reneilwe Letsholonyane and Dean Furman; they compliment each other well  (hint hint Mr Motaung). Siyabonga  Sangweni also played well, which is not surprising at all because I’ve always said that he is one of the most under-rated players in the PSL and its good that he is finally getting the recognition that he deserves! With all that said Bafana Bafana really played with their hearts on their sleeves and went down like true soldiers, I hope that they keep this momentum and hopefully qualify for the FIFA 2014 World Cup.

I just had to share this picture LOL: a tussle between Reneilwe Letsolonyane and Seydou Keita

In other news.....

 Nigeria are through to the finals after thrashing Mali 4-1 EISH! They will face Burkina Faso who, against all odds made it through to the finals by beating Ghana 3-2 on penalties. I mean who could forget that controversial game? The referee was just appalling to say the least! I never thought that a referee could be so blatantly biased towards another team. I am happy that the ‘Burkinababe’ overcame all these obstacles and for the first time ever qualified for the Afcon finals. The referee has also been suspended by CAF for his atrocious performance *air-punch*. I hope he gets banned for life, because such acts spoil the beautiful game of soccer!

Burkina Faso forward, Astride Bance, will play a key role in attack

(by the way, whats the deal with African football players and these 'interesting' hairstyles?)

Truly speaking: regardless of the refereeing, Ghana really didn’t deserve to go through to the finals (yes, I said it!). Throughout this tournament they have NOT played like the Ghana that we know, they have become very complacent and (in my opinion) only advanced through to the knock-out stages by sheer luck. I hope that they learn from this and pull up their socks, because it’s really disappointing to see a team of Ghana’s calibre playing the way they did in this tournament.

Nigerian striker, Emmanuel Emenike, has had a sterling performance; will he help the super eagles lift the trophy?

Anyway; the final is tomorrow and the Super Eagles look like firm favourites to take the cup. However, I don’t think that we should rule out Burkina Faso, they have really played with their hearts on their sleeves throughout this tournament and have shown that they are hungry for this. Burkina Faso come into this final as underdogs and it would be nice if they won the cup and mark a dramatic ending to a very dramatic AFCON tournament......wena uhamba nobani?????

Which team/country do you think will win the 2013 Orange Africa Cup of Nations? Leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee

Will South Africa Ever Truly Heal from the Wounds of The Past?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

I just came across an article in this week’s Drum magazine about a brutal assault on an elderly golf instructor. The instructor, Nathan Maluleke, suffered severe injuries which resulted in him having to have metal plates inserted into his cheeks and he also lost two of his teeth in the attack. His crime, you ask? BEING BLACK; Maluleke was savagely attacked by a white family at a golf club in Johannesburg as he tried to intervene to stop a white woman from chanting racial slurs at black employees.

Every time I read or hear about racist incidents’ such as this one I am filled with so much disgust and sadness; I mean this is really unnecessary! I wonder if South Africa will ever truly heal from the wounds of the past. Incidents’ such as this one are a wakeup call to all of us because they are a sad reminder that racism still exists in our beautiful country. What saddens me even more is that some ‘bornfree’s’ (people born post apartheid) have also developed racist views. Where is all this anger and hatred coming from?!

Does such hate and anger really help us in any way? I mean if we all looked the same the world would be quite a dull place, don’t you think? We should take pride in the fact that we are a ‘rainbow nation’, a rainbow is an arch of different colours and it is just beautiful to look at! By hating someone because of the colour of their skin we are saying that we are ashamed of our beautiful rainbow nation and would rather have one that is dull and boring.

                                                                      Nathan Maluleke after his brutal attack.

I think of South Africa as being quite a religious country as well; although we have a variety of religious beliefs in our country (another thing that makes us a rainbow nation) ,the one thing most of us have in common is that we believe in a higher power. I don’t think that there is any religion (Well at least I hope there isn’t) that condones prejudice and hatred.

Since I am Christian, I will talk from a Christian perspective: We are all created in the beautiful image of God and God is a God of DIVERSITY that  is why we come in an amazing variety of colours, shapes and sizes; God does NOT make mistakes! In his book The Purpose Driven life, Rick Warren says: “God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the colour of your skin, your hair and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents that you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality. Your race and nationality are no accident!”

 Mind you, racism is not a ‘white thing’ as some people tend to think. ANYONE can be racist, Black people can be racist, White people can be racist, Indians can be racist. Your race does not determine whether you will be racist or not, it is the anger and hatred that one develops in their heart and mind that makes them a racist, nothing else! Let us all love our neighbours as we love ourselves and unite as a nation to fight racism, because it is through being united that we will ensure that our country prospers.

Who Has it Worse?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

As I grow older I have realised that shopping for ‘perfect-fitting’ clothes is getting trickier by the day. Last month I went Christmas shopping and I came across the most gorgeous dress ever (well at least to me it was) and I just had to have it. So I decided to try the dress on to see if it suits me and to find a size that fits me perfectly.

 Now I’ve got quite a unique frame: athletic, with a big bust and my shoulders are slightly wider than my hips. I guess if I had to be classified under a body shape I would be an ‘inverted triangle’, though I’m not really a ’10 over 1’ as some people put it *LOL*.  Anyway, I tried on the dress and it fit me so well and hugged my body in all the right places, but my breasts were so squashed and could barely even breathe...NOT a pretty sight at all! So I had to try on a bigger size, and it fit me well around the bust, but on the rest of my body it was just ‘hanging’ like some borrowed cloth. Basically, I wasn’t wearing the dress, the dress was wearing me! A sudden rush of sadness came over me and I left the store empty handed.

                                                                female body shapes..

                                                                                        
A couple of days later I was chilling with a  friend of mine and I told her about my shopping experience and moaned  about how difficult it is for big-breasted women (particularly young women) to find clothes that fit well. Her response was rather unexpected; she argued that big-busted women have it easier than Bootylicious (curvy at the rear end) women because big-busted women can always find “nice flowy tops” to compliment their frame, whereas it’s more difficult for bootylicious women to find jeans/pants that fit right.  My friend has a typical African shape: curvy at the bottom and small at the top. She basically has what we South Africans call an ‘ATM’ (African Trade Mark)...ke le Pakistan bosso!  

                                                                         Bootylicious.. (picture taken from the internet)

                                                 

She said that shopping for jeans has become a nightmare for her, because when she finds jeans that fit her well, she can barely get them over her buttocks. When she gets a bigger size, it fits her well around the buttocks, but they are baggy at the bottom and big at the waist.  We debated this for over 30 minutes, with me adding that big-busted women also have difficulty finding a good quality bra that fits perfectly. It’s especially difficult for younger (big-busted) women to find a bra because most bras’ that cater for big-breasted women are not really appealing to the eye. I mean can you imagine a 20-something year old wearing ‘granny bra’s’? Really now!

This debate left me wondering who really has it worse when it comes to finding clothes that fit perfectly, women with big breasts or bootylicious women, or ke samsokolo vele?

What is your opinion on this topic? Do you ever experience difficulties when shopping for clothes? Leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on Twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee

Patriotism is NOT a Choice, Its a Duty!

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

The Orange Africa Cup of Nations is upon us and it’s always amazing to see how sports unite South Africans. It is during events like these that South Africans put their differences aside and rally towards a common goal.

I must say I was quite disappointed that Bafana Bafana drew in their opening game against the Cape Verde Islands on Saturday. They didn’t play as a unit at all and going forward they were just hopeless. Could they have developed a sudden case of stage fright, or were there certain individuals who saw this as an opportunity to try and outshine their fellow teammates? Some may put the blame on Coach Gordan Igesund for his selection of players; others may argue that South Africa has seen a rapid decline of quality players over the years and that Igesund wasn’t really spoilt for choice.  Whatever the reason for their disappointing performance is, they seriously need to sort it out and fast!

101% behind bafana bafana!

Despite all this, we should all rally behind our boys and give them our full unconditional support, kumnyama kubomvu! After all we are the 12^th man and by supporting them we boost their morale, making fun of the team or calling them names really doesn’t help us in anyway, all it does is to demoralise the players and this affects their performance on the field even more. One thing, that we should all remember is that patriotism is NOT a choice, it’s a duty!

  It was a blessing in disguise that both Group A’s opening games ended in draws. Hopefully Bafana will take advantage of this and win their remaining two games so that they can advance to the knockout stages of the tournament and hopefully even emulate the class of 96. So let’s all be patriotic and put our full support behind the boys! #bafana kaofela#

Are We Losing Our 'Africanness'?

By: Mbalenhle Zondi

 I recently attended a relative’s traditional wedding and there was just something about the wedding that brought joy to my heart. From the lobola negotiations, to the exchanging of gifts, the ululating and the singing; this wedding (like every other traditional African wedding) truly symbolised the coming together of two families and two cultures.

With the groom being Zulu and the bride coming from a Tswana background, the wedding was a hive of activity, the bride looked radiant in her ‘isishweshwe’ (traditional Tswana dress) when she arrived with her family at the groom’s home to be officially welcomed in her new family.  Later in the day, after gifts had been exchanged between the two families, the makoti was whisked away by women from the groom’s family and she later emerged wearing traditional Zulu attire; This symbolised that they are officially husband and wife. All that was left for them to do was to sign some documents to make the marriage legal (which they could’ve done at their traditional wedding).The couple is now planning their white wedding...

The Decor...

Now this really got me thinking...Is there really a need for them to have a white wedding? What is the significance of the white wedding?  Why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Could it be that we have become so westernised in our way of thinking that we think that our traditional practices aren’t as important or good enough as western practices? The singing, dancing and jubilation that comes with a traditional wedding is just out of this world. If you think about it, having both a traditional and a white wedding (Amalobolo, umembeso, umabo and the white wedding) is very costly and this is one of the reasons our African brothers and sisters are in debt, because many couples tend to forget that after a WEDDING there is a MARRIAGE to maintain. Ka Sesotho bare: “dikuku dimonate, lenyalo le boima”.

The wedding symbolised two cultures (Zulu and Tswana) coming together... alilililili!!

One will never find a white/Caucasian couple having a white wedding and then the next day dressing up in traditional Zulu outfits (for example) and dancing, ululating and exchanging gifts, so why do we as Africans feel the need to have a white wedding? Look, I am in no way saying that white weddings are wrong and if a couple can afford to have three weddings then by all means they should go ahead and do it. I myself also dream of having a big white wedding (including a traditional one) some day, but to this day I still struggle to understand what the significance of a white wedding is to us black people. We've even  adopted all the customs that come with a white wedding (e.g. the tossing of the bouquet and the garter, amongs other things), why is that?

 In some cases, when push comes to shove (moneywise) couples prefer to sacrifice a traditional wedding in favour of a white wedding. It just seems like we have hijacked other people's cultures because we dont think that our traditional customs are glamorous or good enough. Some may argue that white weddings are more religious, whereas traditional weddings are not, but  then by saying this are we not implying that only western culture is religious and that African customs are backward and 'unchristian'? I think that it is all about finding a balance between our cultures and religion, and yes, this is possible.  I agree that culture changes over time and that  we should adapt to the changing times, however it should not get to a  point where we abandon all our traditional customs in favour of western ones. It is imperative that we preserve our cultures and customs so that we can pass them on to future generations.

What is your opinion on this issue? leave me a comment on this blog entry or hit me up on Twitter: @Enhle_Mbalee